I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
