we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
