Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
