Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
