I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
