we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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