Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
