she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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