Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
