Dual....:-)
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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