..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
