Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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