When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I need water and some morals
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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