I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
