one two three fourrrrnication!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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