the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
