I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Come on in and take your pants off
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