what if every blade of grass was a penis?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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