Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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