You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize