just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
