I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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