I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
