Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
