I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
