you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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