i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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