Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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