Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
