you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
