I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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