Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
