You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
meet me or not, i'm out of control
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
