apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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