I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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