If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
