We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
