Me. At least after what I've been through.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
