that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
