"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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