speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I touched a dick in church today
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
