Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just had sex bonerless
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize