the condom got lost in my hair
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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