I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You left your phone here
Wait...
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