i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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