I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
