she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
