Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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