hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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