I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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