dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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