when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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