I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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