but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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