just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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