This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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