If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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