He told me they were just razor bumps!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
