My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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