was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
