So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
