we have officially lost it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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