Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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