Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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