The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
