if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
