problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
