he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
